I'm going down down

Resolution: I have come to fully appreciate being single, because I see it as the best way to focus on things that really matter at this point in my life, i.e. my relationship with Christ, school, paying for school, broadening my horizons (learning ballet this fall, or how to snowboard this winter), and building up new/old friendships. Relationships require time, attention, and I don't want to give up more of either of those. And then... I meet a guy who makes me think twice. I kick myself, and then say 'well, Me, this could be worth the time and attention- you won't know if you don't try to find out'. And so I let myself be interested... and I start to hope it works out. And invariably he is interested in someone else, generally someone I know. And I'm stuck kicking myself, but this time saying 'idiot, why did you think it would be any different this time?' And I feel like a total moron. So, I think it would be in my best interest to stop myself the next time I start to rethink my strategy, which is to make it to Cali with no strings attached... At least, until the next time I meet a cute boy with personality. Heh.

Last night, I had so much fun just talking to Ashley. We talked a lot. The only time we stopped talking was when we each had a McD's ice cream cone in hand- silence. She is so honest, she says what she's thinking and doesn't leave me wondering what went 'unsaid'... if you know what I'm saying. And we have just enough in common that we can carry on a conversation about something we both find interesting, but just enough uncommon between us to give different thoughts to the conversation... if you know what I'm saying. She's one of those girls I can be comfortable around just as myself, and it is really the hand of God that the opportunity to get to know her has come when it has. This whole 'getting to be friends with girls' thing has been amazing... why didn't I hang out with girls before?

Today was Jenna's twenty-first birthday!! Yay!! Macaroni Grill (yummy!), and strawberry shortcake (double yummy. It was pretty great to be with all of the Renos again, it's always more fun when they are all there. Jon looked great, with his preppy chinos and RL striped tie. His new nickname: Attitude. Afterwards, Jenna and I headed to her birthday/Dave's going away party, where the most exciting thing ever happened- Dave asked me to be his date for the Army's big formal on the 25th (well, he's pretty sure its on the 25th... or the weekend before) of September!! Happy 21st birthday to me!! I get to get dressed up and go out with Dave, to a FORMAL!!!! I am SOOOOO excited!!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! Yay!!

Tomorow, I don't work, so I'm going to go finish up all my finaid stuff, have brunch with Dave and Beka, and then I'm stalking a super hott-with-two-t's chica bonita at her casa... she'd better be prepared, cuz I'm ridiculously stoked!! And her name is Sa-sa-sa-saraaah!!!

I'm not living on campus, by the way. I whipped out a calculator after learning I would be required to have a 6-meal plan, and realized that for four months the bill would be $2900- that's 750 a month, for six meals and a room. Yeah right I can't afford that. Anyone know someone who's looking for a roommate? Seriously. Let me know if you do.

this is for the latest 'on-second-thought'... minus the fact that i'm not a notch in his bedpost

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be her
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

-sugar we're going down, fob